Do you feel unfulfilled? Do you feel as if you have so much more to offer the world? Are you in a season that causes you to question if there really is a “plan” for your life? If that is you, stop fighting.
Wednesday I sat at my desk and my eyes filled with tears as I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my “job.” I work at East Cross United Methodist Church in Bartlesville, Ok as the Contemporary Music Director. My degree is in Music Ministry and I always felt that one day I would be working in a church, yet the journey there was a little unexpected. When I think about how long many people in the bible had to wait for the promises of God to be fulfilled in their life, I can’t help but feel embarrassed, as if my wait of 6 years was a long time? But I am sure many of you can relate; if you have been waiting 6 years to find a spouse, or 6 years to find a job, it feels like a very long time.
My 6 year wait was filled with a lot of fighting. I wasn’t content with jobs, I longed for a place to use my gift of music and I constantly found myself in situations where I felt like I had to prove that I was good enough. A door might open for music and then the whole process would be a struggle. I kept finding myself in the same place, fighting to be good enough for someone. I remember saying to a good friend once, “I feel like if I was in a place where someone believed in me, I could flourish.” I was praying one day and expressing to the Lord my frustration with life and my desire to have a place of purpose and fulfillment. All the sudden I felt a very strong impression from the Holy Spirit, “Stop Fighting.” Those words hit me right between the eye balls.
Have you ever heard the saying, “God cares more about who you are, than what you do?” I believe it with all my heart. I believe that sometimes the Lord takes us on a journey, that we might not understand, simply because He is interested in making us into what He wants us to be. He is more concerned with who we are becoming than with what we are doing. It is possible that there are seasons of pruning, seasons of growth, seasons of cold, and seasons of flourishing. And more than likely each season has a very specific purpose.
The Lord took me on a 6 year journey and brought me to a place where I am flourishing. I sit in amazement again as I think about this place the Lord prepared for me. I know I have a lot more growing to do, but I am so thankful for this time and this place where I get to rest in his hand.